Psychology · Relationships

Is It Limerence or Love?

A free test to help you understand whether what you're feeling for someone is grounded, reciprocal love — or limerence, the intense, often anxious infatuation first identified by psychologist Dorothy Tennov.

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24 questions · 4 minutes · No email required · Think of one specific person

About the limerence test

Limerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov to describe an intense, often involuntary state of romantic infatuation — marked by intrusive thoughts about a person, a deep longing for reciprocation, idealization, and mood swings tied to small signs of interest or rejection. It's different from love, though the two can and often do overlap, especially in the early stages of a real relationship.

This test measures both separately. You'll get a Limerence score and a Love/Secure score, because these aren't opposite ends of the same scale — you can feel both at once, especially early on. What matters most is the gap between them, and your results page will help you understand what that gap is actually telling you.

Three steps to your result

1

Bring one person to mind

This test is about a specific person and connection, not a general trait. Have that person in mind before you start.

2

Answer 24 questions

One question at a time, on a five-point scale from Strongly Disagree to Strongly Agree. Takes about 4 minutes.

3

Get your results

Scored across two separate dimensions — Limerence and Love/Secure — and the gap between them places you in one of four results.

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24 questions · 4 minutes · Think of one specific person

Frequently Asked Questions

What is limerence?
Limerence is a term coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s to describe an intense, often involuntary state of infatuation — marked by intrusive thoughts about a person, a strong longing for reciprocation, idealization of the person, and mood dependent on small signs of their interest.
Is limerence the same as love?
Not exactly, though they're related and can coexist. Limerence tends to be more anxious, more focused on reciprocation and uncertainty, and often based more on fantasy and idealization than on real, day-to-day knowledge of the person. Love tends to be calmer, more reciprocal, and based on actually knowing someone, flaws included.
Is it bad to be in limerence?
Not inherently — limerence is a well-documented, common human experience, and many relationships pass through a limerent phase before settling into something calmer. The concern is mainly when limerence persists without real reciprocity or evidence, or when it significantly disrupts your functioning and wellbeing.
How long does the test take?
About 4 minutes — 24 questions, answered one at a time on a five-point scale, with one specific person in mind.
Can I take this test about someone I'm not officially dating?
Yes — limerence very often occurs outside a defined relationship, including toward someone you're not yet with, a coworker, a friend, or someone you haven't told how you feel.
What if my results show high scores on both Limerence and Love?
This is common, especially in newer relationships, and isn't necessarily a problem — your results page will explain what this combination typically means and what to watch for as the relationship develops.

Ready to understand what you're really feeling?

24 questions. About 4 minutes. Completely private.

Take the Free Test →